kitchen - noun. A room or an area equipped for preparing and cooking food. [Middle English kichene, from Old English cycene, probably from Vulgar Latin cocina, from Late Latin coquina, from feminine of Latin coquinus, of cooking, from coquus, cook, from coquere, to cook.]
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It should be assumed you have a stove to cook on. Set your burner to medium, then put the pan on the burner. Pour some of the oil into the pan to heat, eyeballing amount as 1-2 tbsps. Now, on nearby work surface, crack eggs into mixing bowl. Add to eggs several tbsps of cool water. Next add seasonings to eggs and water. Precise amount and type of seasonsings depend on what Seraph has on hand, at least a pinch of each, if dry, is recommended, as much as a tsp, if freshly prepared. Beat all contents of bowl with fork until seasonings are blended with eggs and eggs are fluffed. Pan should now be hot enough for cooking. Pour egg mixture from bowl into the oil in pan. Allow to cook on medium heat without any mixing. You can use this time to wash uncooked egg from bowl and fork. The egg mixture should be spread across the bottom of the pan. Monitor eggs as they cook, use corner of spatula to break any large bubbles. You may test doneness of underside by prying up the edge. You will want eggs to be nearly cooked through to the top and slightly brown on underside before flipping. When you judge eggs to be cooked nearly through, use spatula to carefully lift the eggs, in one peice, and quickly flip to cook the other side. If eggs tear, they will still be quite edible, so if flipping does not come out neatly, try to push pieces into place with spatula. Allow to cook until the flipped side is also slightly brown, again prying up edge to check. Turn off heat, and then remove pan and slide eggs, hopefully in one piece, onto plate. Enjoy with fork.
Requires a knife and chopsticks. Replace fork in recipe above with chopsticks. When eggs are on plate, form into a roll. Use knife to slice roll. Eat with chopsticks. (Not advisable to use the free with take-out type wooden chopsticks to mix the raw egg and then eat with, because these do not clean as well. Seraph uses metal chopsticks for the actual food preparation.)
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(I really do not know how to metric all this.) Set up your food processor for making a spread (probably involves an s-blade being placed in the bottom). (I do not know how to make hummus Old School, it probably takes lots of effort.) Open can of chickpeas with can opener. (I guess in some places you can get chickpeas fresh, but there is nothing wrong with the canned variety and one can fits this recipe.) Pour chickpeas into processor. Stir tahini with spoon. (It is a thick sesame paste and may separate into liquid and solid layers in container, so mixing is necessary.) Then measure at least 1/4 cup of tahini and add it into processor bowl. A little extra tahini may be good. Remove 'paper' from garlic and add cloves to bowl. Add 2 tablespoons sesame oil and 2 tablespoons lemon juice to bowl now. (You can use a fresh lemon, cut it and squeeze a bit into the bowl, but I mostly just use the bottled juice.) Roughly measure salt and add. The pepper, coriander and cumin should be ground for use in the recipe, if you can buy them whole and have a means of grinding them, you may do this. Otherwise, buy them ground. I sort of eyeball the amounts, but you should probably not add more than a quarter teaspoon of each. (I added too much pepper once. I still ate the hummus, but it tasted more of pepper than of sesame.) Put your food processor into its operating position, this probably involves closing and turning a lid. Take the machine up to the speed recommended for making a puree. You can pulse, but you do not have to. (On my two speed processor it is the second, 'high' speed.) Stop machine and check mixture. Use spoon to scrape sides of bowl toward the middle if necessary, so that everything will be evenly mixed. If you think the mixture looks too thick (this is really a preference thing) you can add more lemon juice or sesame oil now. Use machine to mix again. Check, and if hummus does not look evenly mixed and smooth scrape and mix again. You may add more juice or oil if it does not look the consistency that you desire. When hummus is smooth and evenly mixed, disassemble processor and scrape hummus into a serving or storage container. The hummus is good with toasted pita (I buy wheat as opposed to 'white' pitas) or with fresh vegetables. I sometimes spread hummus on wheat sandwich bread and make (duh) a sandwich. Enjoy.
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Open bags of candy. Pour candy into one serving container. Mix somewhat by shaking container or just use your hands. (Always clean your hands before preparing food.) Await arrival of guests then offer treats. Stand back and watch as guests dig into bowl of candies marked with S&M's then make strange expressions as the fruity and chocolate flavors blend in their mouth. Laugh.
Thanks to Natalia for the recipe.
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Place whole melon on cutting surface. Slice melon with large knife into two three or four sections with parallel cuts, depending on how hungry you are. Spoon out seeds and discard. Place one section on plate then wrap remaining sections tightly in plastic wrap for later consumption (refrigeration is recommended.) If desired, cut small portions of other seasonal fruits with the knife and place on plate with melon as edible garnish. Sprinkle brown sugar over fruit it will melt into the fruit juices. Enjoy with spoon.
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Brew one cup of coffee for each serving. Prepare smashed ice by hitting it with heavy object when it is inside bag. Fill bottom of tall glass with smashed ice. Pour coffee fresh from pot or having been stored in an airtight carafe into glass until it is half full. Fill rest of glass with ice cold lactose free milk. Add chocolate syrup, pouring for three seconds or 2-3 tablespoons. Mix with spoon. Add straw if you like. Enjoy.
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Boil macaroni in pot according to directions for that package. While water boils and macaroni cooks, peel all the cloves of garlic from one entire bulb then chop into large pieces. Set aside chopped garlic and open tuna. Rinse tuna well under water then drain. (You can use the lid of the can to hold back the tuna while you drain water.) Set tuna aside also. When macaroni has fully cooked, drain into colander. (Turn off stove, duh.) In mixing bowl combine macaroni, tuna and garlic. (If you would like to add celery, this should be chopped small and mixed in now.) Stir together. Scoop a good amount of mayonnaise, about a full tablespoon to each can of tuna, and mix mayonnaise into bowl. Add salt and pepper, a couple of shakes. Good while still warm, but very good chilled.
I owe thanks to a friend, Rachael, for inspiring this recipe. She used to make something very much like this while I was her son's nanny and it was very good. The recipe as given here is my version based on guestimates and my particular taste. I hope you enjoy; not everyone understands the goodness of the chunks of garlic.